A Valentines' Day Wish - I Wonder
by terminal insanity
Summary: Fuuko's POV on certain issues. My first time writing a POV fic (which has actually been posted). If it sucks, so sue me (NO, not really!). If the thought of a depressive Fuuko puts you off, don't read it.


Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, same as always… I don't own Flame of Recca. Never did, never will. I have lost all ability to write happy fics. I'm working on that problem though, so hopefully, one day you'll see me post a happy fic. All flames will be sent to my sister, who's away at a church camp. Like all other ff.net writers, I live for and appreciate reviews. Helpful criticism is also very welcome. So, yeah…

A Valentines' Day Wish By terminal_insanity 

          How I hate her… Wait, I correct that. It's not Yanagi-chan that I really hate. It's just how everybody just seems to love her so much and all… You see, this morning I woke up with really bad cramps and a headache. I don't even _need_ to say that my walk to school was anything but enjoyable. And I was all prepared to walk into school with a frown on my face. But then, I'd just be worrying everybody. You see, Fuuko-chan isn't allowed to be sad. She always has to look happy, whether she's fighting to the death or just going to school. So instead, I smile and try my best to look happy. I must have been really convincing, because nobody seemed to notice anything unusual.

            Things were almost beginning to look up, for once, when my headache slowly subsided and my cramps eased up a little. Hell, I even aced a test! But that was all before Recca appeared. He was late for school, and I mean _really _late. But he showed up anyway. So, he appears in class and does his whole "Ohayo, hime!" bit. Not that I wasn't expecting that. But then he pulled out a small bouquet of roses and shoves it into Yanagi's face. "Happy Valentines' Day!" he goes.

            I didn't think that any thing else could go wrong, but the fates really must have had it in for me. I was walking down the hallway, minding my business and wondering why that stupid gorilla, Domon, hadn't pestered me the entire morning, when speak of the devil, or demon, I ran into Domon. He had a single red rose in his hand, and was standing in front of my locker. He'd never tried giving me a flower on Valentines' Day before. The gesture was…quite sweet, actually, and for once, I didn't feel like smashing him into the wall. But just as I reached him, my locker-mate (her own locker got jammed, you see, so I offered to share mine with her for the while) popped up out of nowhere and hugged Domon! He gave her the rose and they walked away.

            I was already feeling bad enough. To hope for a valentine was one thing. But to hope that Domon's flower was meant for me just spelt D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E. And to make my life _even_ more miserable, who should come up, but the walking iceberg himself.

            "Surely you didn't think that rose was for you, Kirisawa."

            Stupid Mi-chan… I scowled at him, wishing he'd just die on the spot. But then all his freaking fangirls would be after my blood.

            "If it had been, I would've shoved it down his throat!" I retorted. What else could I do? Break down and cry, and tell fridge-boy that "Yes, I _had_ thought the rose was for me" and that all I wanted was a stinking flower for Valentines' Day? Hah! In his ice-cold dreams. And I left for the rooftop. I didn't have any classes scheduled next anyway, so it wasn't like I was playing hooky and skipping classes. Besides, the rooftop is always empty this time of the year, and that means nobody will see me cry…

Valentines' Day… It's always been a sore spot for me. I've never been asked to be anyone's valentine before, never been given any flowers before… Even when I was in kindergarten, Recca would bring all the little girls a small piece of chocolate on Valentines' Day. All, except me… Maybe it was my violent tendencies, or my tomboyish attitude. Either way, he never gave me any candy, and neither had any of the other boys.

Am I _really_ that undesirable? Is it because my hair's too short, or I don't giggle and flirt like other girls? Is it because they've all seen me pound Domon into the ground? I don't know. And even if I ask, they'll just think I'm joking and laugh about it, right before I trash them up.

Okay, so maybe I _am_ a little violent, but still, it's not a good reason to be ignored on Valentines' Day…is it?

I'm not even expecting Mi-chan to fall head-over-heels in love with me or anything. But will it really kill him to be even remotely nice to me? Even for one, single day? He showers Yanagi with kindness, and love (even if it's the brotherly kind) and protects her even though she has Recca. He even kind of takes care of Kaoru like a big brother would (he thinks nobody notices). So why can't he just try to be civil to me for one freaking day?!

Everyone is special…except for me, that is. My parents are so busy, I don't even think they can remember my birthday anymore. Birthdays… That's been another sore spot for me… I remember attending all of Recca's birthday parties when we were little. I even helped throw one for Yanagi last year. It was a spectacular party, which ended with a brilliant fireworks display, courtesy of Recca of course. For weeks, they talked about it non-stop. At first, I was proud to have been involved in such an impressive party. But the novelty soon wore off, after they forgot my own birthday. I wasn't even expecting a party, mind you, just a present or two. I rarely even got presents from my parents. They only remembered when my older brother reminded them. But he's in college, has been for the past one and a half years or so already. So without a doubt, I haven't received a present from them in over a year.

Useless things, presents… The occasional ones I got from my mother were all things like make up, or delicate jewellery, or dresses. I gave those away to some of my vainer friends at school. And the ones I got from my father weren't much better. What was a girl to do with boxing gloves, or thick sweat socks, or vouchers from the local sports store. Some of those, I gave to my brother, others…well, transformed me into what I have become: a tomboyish girl with no other hobbies other than beating up male classmates.

Sometimes, I wonder if they even know I'm their daughter. Or if Recca and the rest of Team Hokage even realize that I have feelings like all humans… I have to wonder, because they certainly treat me like I'm some girl who hangs around the house with nothing better to do, or an emotionless animal.

If I were gone, would they even miss me? Would they remember me? Probably not… How long, I wonder, would they take to forget me? A year? No, too long. A month, a week? A day, perhaps? Maybe… Would I be just a distant memory, or would they have totally forgotten about me? Sometimes, I just have to wonder…

The bell just rang. Have I _really_ been up here a whole hour? Or is this just some cruel joke that time is playing on me? It didn't really feel that long. I looked down at my hands, at the concrete floor that I've been sprawled across for the past hour. Are those _really_ my tears I see staining the floor in small patches? Or are they just beads of sweat from my running up here earlier? I just have to wonder…

I'd better hurry up if I don't want to miss my classes. Though I don't think my parents would care if they received another letter from the school. I used to do that, skip school, sleep in class, not hand in assignments… I just wanted attention. Not that I ever got any in the end.

Still, it's Valentines' Day today, and Fuuko-chan is never seen without a smile on her face. Damn those fake smiles I plaster on my face every morning. But I'll never let them know any of this. I'm not allowed to be sad, remember? Only people like Mikagami can be depressed and cold. Sometimes I actually wish I could be like him, all icy and stiff. At least they'd know there was something wrong with me… But I'll never tell them and I'll never let them know.

And yet, when the wind blows past like it is now, I just _have_ to wonder…and wish… Will they ever know?

Author's Notes:

Is this angsty enough? Or does it just sound kinda retarded? I was just feeling kinda depressed, and the story just came to me. I know there have been fics like these before, but I just think that there aren't enough of them. Fuuko isn't just a genki doll. She has feelings too. As I was writing it, I really felt like kicking Mikagami's perfect little ass. His coldness and 'bochup' attitude (that's been used to describe me before. It means sorta like a 'don't care' kind of attitude) get on my nerves sometimes. Not often, but yeah… Any comments you people have, feel free to review and criticize (with style of course). If you can't handle the thought of a depressed Fuuko, I don't care. Everybody's entitled to their own opinions. If you agree with me, whee…


End file.
